The "A.I.: Artificial Intelligence" Fanfiction Online Anthology

Comedy Night at the Shangri-La Hotel

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shangrila.jpg

Setting: Night. A smoky, dim-lit room crowded with assorted Orgas and Mechas, sitting at tables, or standing in the back. The jazz combo on the tiny platform of a stage has just come to the end of their set. They play a few riffs and a deliberately off-key fanfare as a tall girl in black with a black satin vest jumps up onto the stage and tests the mike. The crowd applauds wildly

M.C. Refugee

Helloooo, Haddonfield!

Audience

(ad lib replies)

M.C. Refugee

Aw, c'mon, Haddonfield, I can't hear you!

 Audience

(More enthusiastic)

M.C. Refugee

That's better. For a minute there, I thought half of you were switched off or asleep. (Cue the rimshot. Laughter from the audience) Ohhkaayyy....How many of you here have seen the flick that put Haddonfield, New Jersey on the map? Bang yer hands together!

 Audience

(A wave of applause, some cheers and whistles)

M.C. Refugee

All right! You'll love the line up we got for you tonight, 'cause we went all out trying to get the best "A.I." comedy talent -- Orga and Mecha -- up here tonight, starting off with something I bet many of you can relate to, or which you've accused your best friend, roommate, next-door neighbor, lover, enemy or whatever of doing.

You Know You've Watched "A.I." Too Many Times When...

 
The crowd is still laughing hysterically over that, even the M.C. is having a terrible time keeping from laughing herself.
 
M.C. Refugee
Okay...okay...Oh man, that was too crazy, but that's just the tip of the iceberg, people.
 
Next up...Next up we have an exclusive feature. A friend of mine who worked in the camera crew for "A.I." was able to salvage some of the stuff off the floor of the editing room. Alas, he was unable to salvage the extra footage of Jude Law as everyone's favorite love machine (Loud, goofy cries of "WAAAAHHH"!! from the ladies. The combo plays a few bars of "I Only Have Eyes for You")... But... he was still able to sticky-tape together a series of outtakes from the film. Artificial Intelligences at their least intelligent. And so we present... the parts of "A.I." only Spiels and company got to see. Mark, could you spin that DVD?

Artificial NOT-So-Intelligence

Crazy Captions